2010-07-18
2010-04-22
Pioneers
friends and fans, here is the fourth (and for now, final) installation in my serial ep, had we met in another life. i originally conceived of this project in late 2008, and it has finally come to fruition. i may pick it up and continue it later... there is at least one "b-side" in this series. ultimately that is the best thing about doing serial releases; i can always pick it up again later. but right now i am already working on a new project (check out jacobearl.net for a visual preview of the new series of songs, beginning very soon).
as i have recounted before, these pieces that comprise had we met in another life were temporarily shelved for a little bit, while i worked on the companion album, Your First Lover - Incarnations. i think that distancing myself from this collection of songs for almost a year allowed me re-approach them with a fresh angle, and produce some of the best stuff i have released to date.
the final composition of the had we met.. quartet is "Pioneers". this track is actually the first had we met... piece that i composed , at the end of 2008. so i have sat on this piece longest of all, fretting over little details of the composition and production.
"Pioneers" is a long track (almost seven minutes) that represents one of my first real forays into midi synth with my m-audio keyrig 25 keyboard (which i received for xmas 2008 from my awesome family). it was almost like an experimentation just to see what i could do with the new toy. i started out being bored, fooling around with some new beats i had downloaded, chopping up some royalty-free samples that i had, and came up with the backbone of the song as it is now. then i started experimenting with some organ VST sounds i had, and i liked the end result so much that i decided to use it to frame the concept i was developing at the time.
the words and music of "Pioneers" sums up the entire mood and theme of the had we met in another life sequence... which is ultimately why i chose it to be the last song in the series.
originally i wasn't happy with portions of many of the vocal tracks i laid down, so there are at least five or six vocal tracks layered into the background and trapped in the murk of reverb with the subdued guitars. i didn't want to obliterate them entirely from the track. was that a good production choice in the end? i don't know; you be the judge.
really this extended ode is all about the driving fuzzy bass and pitch-wavering organ.
ultimately i don't think it's the strongest of the four tracks... in fact it may be the weakest if i approach the end-products objectively. but there are some moments about it that i think worked out really nicely (ambient resonance created by the layered vocals and doubled-up guitar tracks moving in and out of sync with each other).
i find that when recording, i often stumble upon happy accidents that i end up keeping in the final product. i could never possibly duplicate those weird quirks again, and that's part of the beauty of doing many of my recordings with one-takes. "Pioneers" is a good example of many of these types of moments, and i think that lends a nostalgic quality to the mood of the song.
if you've been following the had we met... previous releases, you probably know that the last track i released was accompanied by a simple video that i created to go with the music. well, i did the same for "Pioneers". only this video is much better, and much more extravagant. i collected some great footage of landscapes rolling by on a train ride, and of my wonderful fiancée maggie playing in the rain in her fancy rain boots. i juxtaposed the videos together to present a visual mood of a long and playful journey. i think it is well-suited to the nostalgic "what if..." atmosphere of the song, and the vein of had we met in another life as a whole.
you can enjoy the video on youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0T3cWIAo3HM
and here is the song for download; free high quality VBR mp3 (thanks for listening and watching!): Pioneers
and the lyrics:
she grew up in a small town out east
her mother alone, her father deceased
she came here to be free
she came here to get away from people like me
she was just seventeen
when i met her on the scene
she carried around a fake ID
what was I supposed to believe?
maybe i wanted to be deceived...
we were pioneers to our own demise
i willingly believed the lies
she gave up and said goodbye
i almost drowned in the tears i cried
we were soldiers on a barren cold front
we were wolves on the final hunt
we were cowboys from the wild west
heading into our final sunset
we were trained to looked the other way
we refrained from thinking of yesterday
there was nothing left there that we could mend
we were pioneers to the end
as i have recounted before, these pieces that comprise had we met in another life were temporarily shelved for a little bit, while i worked on the companion album, Your First Lover - Incarnations. i think that distancing myself from this collection of songs for almost a year allowed me re-approach them with a fresh angle, and produce some of the best stuff i have released to date.
the final composition of the had we met.. quartet is "Pioneers". this track is actually the first had we met... piece that i composed , at the end of 2008. so i have sat on this piece longest of all, fretting over little details of the composition and production.
"Pioneers" is a long track (almost seven minutes) that represents one of my first real forays into midi synth with my m-audio keyrig 25 keyboard (which i received for xmas 2008 from my awesome family). it was almost like an experimentation just to see what i could do with the new toy. i started out being bored, fooling around with some new beats i had downloaded, chopping up some royalty-free samples that i had, and came up with the backbone of the song as it is now. then i started experimenting with some organ VST sounds i had, and i liked the end result so much that i decided to use it to frame the concept i was developing at the time.
the words and music of "Pioneers" sums up the entire mood and theme of the had we met in another life sequence... which is ultimately why i chose it to be the last song in the series.
originally i wasn't happy with portions of many of the vocal tracks i laid down, so there are at least five or six vocal tracks layered into the background and trapped in the murk of reverb with the subdued guitars. i didn't want to obliterate them entirely from the track. was that a good production choice in the end? i don't know; you be the judge.
really this extended ode is all about the driving fuzzy bass and pitch-wavering organ.
ultimately i don't think it's the strongest of the four tracks... in fact it may be the weakest if i approach the end-products objectively. but there are some moments about it that i think worked out really nicely (ambient resonance created by the layered vocals and doubled-up guitar tracks moving in and out of sync with each other).
i find that when recording, i often stumble upon happy accidents that i end up keeping in the final product. i could never possibly duplicate those weird quirks again, and that's part of the beauty of doing many of my recordings with one-takes. "Pioneers" is a good example of many of these types of moments, and i think that lends a nostalgic quality to the mood of the song.
if you've been following the had we met... previous releases, you probably know that the last track i released was accompanied by a simple video that i created to go with the music. well, i did the same for "Pioneers". only this video is much better, and much more extravagant. i collected some great footage of landscapes rolling by on a train ride, and of my wonderful fiancée maggie playing in the rain in her fancy rain boots. i juxtaposed the videos together to present a visual mood of a long and playful journey. i think it is well-suited to the nostalgic "what if..." atmosphere of the song, and the vein of had we met in another life as a whole.
you can enjoy the video on youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0T3cWIAo3HM
and here is the song for download; free high quality VBR mp3 (thanks for listening and watching!): Pioneers
and the lyrics:
she grew up in a small town out east
her mother alone, her father deceased
she came here to be free
she came here to get away from people like me
she was just seventeen
when i met her on the scene
she carried around a fake ID
what was I supposed to believe?
maybe i wanted to be deceived...
we were pioneers to our own demise
i willingly believed the lies
she gave up and said goodbye
i almost drowned in the tears i cried
we were soldiers on a barren cold front
we were wolves on the final hunt
we were cowboys from the wild west
heading into our final sunset
we were trained to looked the other way
we refrained from thinking of yesterday
there was nothing left there that we could mend
we were pioneers to the end
2010-03-21
the closest thing to healing
welcome to a brand new track. so far i am sticking well to my plan of releasing one new song a month with the had we met in another life series.
i'll be honest though, this is track three, and i really don't have much beyond track four. i have a fifth track that's very rough, and i'm not sure ultimately whether it fits in. but i'm considering overhauling it... it could work. basically, i suppose this is going to be a short series. but i'm back in the mood to record a long piece, so ideas are starting to brew...
this new song, the third in this series, is called the closest thing to healing. it's a pretty raucous joint that i recorded over the past fourteen months. the idea was to produce a track that was upbeat and yet still slow-to-mid-tempo and moody. so i opted for a funkish, almost staccato bassline, and i did it live rather than using the midi. i wanted a loud, overdriven guitar line, which i achieved with the v-amp, tweaking the effects levels really high. just recently, i added the midi organ line and some vocal effects, and that gave the track the final touches it needed.
thematically, the lyrics follow in the same vein as the previous tracks...
the real treat here is that i shot a video for this track: a real time one take of me doing a pen & ink drawing to accompany the track, and then speeding it up double-time to match the rhythm and tempo of the song. it's a really simple video, but it gives me some great ideas for stop-motion stuff i could try.
this is the first video i've done for one of my solo tracks (excluding the Your First Lover material) since 2006ish. but i'm getting back into it (with better hardware and software now), so there will be more to come soon... expect a video for the next track too.
without further ado, the closest thing to healing music video:
download free high quality VBR mp3: the closest thing to healing
lyrics:
before what we call the modern age
when the new world was still young and unscathed
and our ancestors still lived in caves
before we ravaged and made each other slaves
it was the closest we came to healing
before we even opened the wound
once upon a time we had feelings
since we carved up this place, we’re all equally doomed
and you ask me if i even care
truthfully, i don’t even dare
it just hurts too much
it just hurts too much
it just hurts too much...
these plains were fertile once
before we faced off here with guns
i used to lie in the fields just to feel the breeze
now i lie with your body, hoping to freeze
now i lie with your body, hoping to freeze
and you ask me if i even care
truthfully, i don’t even dare
it just hurts too much
it just hurts too much
it just hurts too much
i don’t even dare
it just hurts too much...
and i still scream out to no one “you were wrong!”
still playing the blame game long after the swan song
but nothing will bring you back
nothing comes close to forgiving me for this attack
the closest we can get
is to carve our own headstones so we never forget
we were the harbingers of our own demise
we willingly believed our own lies
and you ask me why i don’t care
ask me the right question, i dare you
i'll be honest though, this is track three, and i really don't have much beyond track four. i have a fifth track that's very rough, and i'm not sure ultimately whether it fits in. but i'm considering overhauling it... it could work. basically, i suppose this is going to be a short series. but i'm back in the mood to record a long piece, so ideas are starting to brew...
this new song, the third in this series, is called the closest thing to healing. it's a pretty raucous joint that i recorded over the past fourteen months. the idea was to produce a track that was upbeat and yet still slow-to-mid-tempo and moody. so i opted for a funkish, almost staccato bassline, and i did it live rather than using the midi. i wanted a loud, overdriven guitar line, which i achieved with the v-amp, tweaking the effects levels really high. just recently, i added the midi organ line and some vocal effects, and that gave the track the final touches it needed.
thematically, the lyrics follow in the same vein as the previous tracks...
the real treat here is that i shot a video for this track: a real time one take of me doing a pen & ink drawing to accompany the track, and then speeding it up double-time to match the rhythm and tempo of the song. it's a really simple video, but it gives me some great ideas for stop-motion stuff i could try.
this is the first video i've done for one of my solo tracks (excluding the Your First Lover material) since 2006ish. but i'm getting back into it (with better hardware and software now), so there will be more to come soon... expect a video for the next track too.
without further ado, the closest thing to healing music video:
download free high quality VBR mp3: the closest thing to healing
lyrics:
before what we call the modern age
when the new world was still young and unscathed
and our ancestors still lived in caves
before we ravaged and made each other slaves
it was the closest we came to healing
before we even opened the wound
once upon a time we had feelings
since we carved up this place, we’re all equally doomed
and you ask me if i even care
truthfully, i don’t even dare
it just hurts too much
it just hurts too much
it just hurts too much...
these plains were fertile once
before we faced off here with guns
i used to lie in the fields just to feel the breeze
now i lie with your body, hoping to freeze
now i lie with your body, hoping to freeze
and you ask me if i even care
truthfully, i don’t even dare
it just hurts too much
it just hurts too much
it just hurts too much
i don’t even dare
it just hurts too much...
and i still scream out to no one “you were wrong!”
still playing the blame game long after the swan song
but nothing will bring you back
nothing comes close to forgiving me for this attack
the closest we can get
is to carve our own headstones so we never forget
we were the harbingers of our own demise
we willingly believed our own lies
and you ask me why i don’t care
ask me the right question, i dare you
2010-02-10
had we met... the title track
this is it. bristling with raw emotion. the title track.
admission time here: i am such a huge secret self-critic. quite plainly, in my head, at least 70% of the time i am unhappy with just about all the music i produce. not usually so extremely unhappy that i hate it and think it sucks, and am totally disappointed with myself. but sometimes.
then every once in awhile i will listen to some of my older material, and feel a little bit proud, like i accomplished something original, creative, and enjoyable. i may not have a huge audience, but some people seem to genuinely like what i create, and i'm super happy about that. i cannot stress how happy that makes me (though there's still the whisper in the back of my head: do you really deserve praise for this?).
so, that said, any false modesty aside, this may be one of the best pieces i have composed to date. at least, i love it, i'm proud of it, i'm pleased with all the effort i put into it to make it turn out how it did. i like the words; they are a very true part of my life. i like the music; it is simple yet catchy, and easily adapts to an acoustic version. i like the production; i feel that i have come a long way in engineering and crafting my sound. i genuinely feel that this marks a progression in my songwriting: a turning point in the way i compose and produce new works.
i began composing had we met in another life - the title track - in march of 2009, around the same time i was beginning to compose the Incarnations series. it felt like a purging to get out. i still feel great whenever i pull out my guitar and play it. for some reason it feels really life-affirming. music definitely acts as a conduit for me to release (negative) energy, in a positive way.
this track felt easy to compose, despite being a long endeavour. it came naturally, without being forced, without feeling the need to complicate it by trying to make it more intricate in composition. instead i focused on crafting a nice sound around it with nuance of tone and effects, reverb and synth, using midi VSTs for faux-strings & bass (i recorded "real" bass tracks too), and a virtual amp to mold the electric guitar sounds. recorded, it took on a completely different mood than the simple, angular sparseness of playing it on an acoustic guitar, unaccompanied. so in a way, this track became as much an engineering project as a composition project for me, but i think that is a good thing for my development. and in this case, it worked to the benefit of the song... i put a lot of time and effort into it, going back and re-working it 'til it was just right.
so much quality effort went into this... right now i feel as though this may be my "flagship" song, so to speak...
what's the big deal? well, this song isn't really about any one person in particular. it means many different people to me, and more than that just the abstract concept of "what if...?" almost everyone on this over-populated world meets hundreds - if not thousands - of people in their lives, but only ever develops lasting, deep, intimate relationships with a select few. there are a handful of people in my life. and some of them are no longer around... passed away or gone separate ways. or maybe i am the one who is no longer around, right? it's about the maybe's, the what-if's, the nostalgia, the spilt milks, the wishes, the yearnings, and the dreams. make them come true, as many of them as you can... but don't sacrifice for them. recognize most the beauty and value of what you have, always, here and now.
enjoy the song.
download free high quality VBR mp3: had we met in another life
lyrics:
on the anniversary of your death
nothing much remarkable happened to me
i felt no immortal breath
no whisper of your presence, no sudden spirituality
too many years to count have passed me by
clear-cutting the memories like a bad disease
i stopped resisting it and i don’t know why
now i just do whatever i please...
had we met in another life
maybe the cliché simply wouldn’t apply
had we met before the dying age
maybe we would still be on the same page
on the anniversary of the day we met
nothing much happened that i want to talk about
i’m not gonna bore you by listing my regrets
one more crappy list that’s too long to count
i missed you horribly, and couldn’t wait to tell you
all about my dreams
i momentarily forgot, in the thick of it all,
that you were no longer here with me
am i the only one
who sees the irony here?
i should be the missing one
i’m the one with the fear
had we met in another life
i’d admit that you were right
right about everything
it wasn’t even worth the fight...
admission time here: i am such a huge secret self-critic. quite plainly, in my head, at least 70% of the time i am unhappy with just about all the music i produce. not usually so extremely unhappy that i hate it and think it sucks, and am totally disappointed with myself. but sometimes.
then every once in awhile i will listen to some of my older material, and feel a little bit proud, like i accomplished something original, creative, and enjoyable. i may not have a huge audience, but some people seem to genuinely like what i create, and i'm super happy about that. i cannot stress how happy that makes me (though there's still the whisper in the back of my head: do you really deserve praise for this?).
so, that said, any false modesty aside, this may be one of the best pieces i have composed to date. at least, i love it, i'm proud of it, i'm pleased with all the effort i put into it to make it turn out how it did. i like the words; they are a very true part of my life. i like the music; it is simple yet catchy, and easily adapts to an acoustic version. i like the production; i feel that i have come a long way in engineering and crafting my sound. i genuinely feel that this marks a progression in my songwriting: a turning point in the way i compose and produce new works.
i began composing had we met in another life - the title track - in march of 2009, around the same time i was beginning to compose the Incarnations series. it felt like a purging to get out. i still feel great whenever i pull out my guitar and play it. for some reason it feels really life-affirming. music definitely acts as a conduit for me to release (negative) energy, in a positive way.
this track felt easy to compose, despite being a long endeavour. it came naturally, without being forced, without feeling the need to complicate it by trying to make it more intricate in composition. instead i focused on crafting a nice sound around it with nuance of tone and effects, reverb and synth, using midi VSTs for faux-strings & bass (i recorded "real" bass tracks too), and a virtual amp to mold the electric guitar sounds. recorded, it took on a completely different mood than the simple, angular sparseness of playing it on an acoustic guitar, unaccompanied. so in a way, this track became as much an engineering project as a composition project for me, but i think that is a good thing for my development. and in this case, it worked to the benefit of the song... i put a lot of time and effort into it, going back and re-working it 'til it was just right.
so much quality effort went into this... right now i feel as though this may be my "flagship" song, so to speak...
what's the big deal? well, this song isn't really about any one person in particular. it means many different people to me, and more than that just the abstract concept of "what if...?" almost everyone on this over-populated world meets hundreds - if not thousands - of people in their lives, but only ever develops lasting, deep, intimate relationships with a select few. there are a handful of people in my life. and some of them are no longer around... passed away or gone separate ways. or maybe i am the one who is no longer around, right? it's about the maybe's, the what-if's, the nostalgia, the spilt milks, the wishes, the yearnings, and the dreams. make them come true, as many of them as you can... but don't sacrifice for them. recognize most the beauty and value of what you have, always, here and now.
enjoy the song.
download free high quality VBR mp3: had we met in another life
lyrics:
on the anniversary of your death
nothing much remarkable happened to me
i felt no immortal breath
no whisper of your presence, no sudden spirituality
too many years to count have passed me by
clear-cutting the memories like a bad disease
i stopped resisting it and i don’t know why
now i just do whatever i please...
had we met in another life
maybe the cliché simply wouldn’t apply
had we met before the dying age
maybe we would still be on the same page
on the anniversary of the day we met
nothing much happened that i want to talk about
i’m not gonna bore you by listing my regrets
one more crappy list that’s too long to count
i missed you horribly, and couldn’t wait to tell you
all about my dreams
i momentarily forgot, in the thick of it all,
that you were no longer here with me
am i the only one
who sees the irony here?
i should be the missing one
i’m the one with the fear
had we met in another life
i’d admit that you were right
right about everything
it wasn’t even worth the fight...
2010-01-31
for the last time
i promised that i would release a new track in january 2010, so here it is (on the last day of the month)!
this new song is entitled for the last time, and it begins the journey of the had we met in another life song-cycle.
i think that this will be a short song-cycle; perhaps only the four tracks so far completed to my satisfaction. it's not that i don't enjoy these songs, or haven't enjoyed working on them. quite the opposite. but i feel that they basically stand on their own, as cornerstones of one mini-composition (an EP, if you will), and they don't really need additional songs to complete the story.
in truth, i'm already working on exciting new things. this is how i work; multiple projects going at once.
so this track, for the last time, went through a variety of changes, including a title change, addition of extra stanzas after the originals were written, trying it out with different time signatures, etc. i find overall that the track is a bit loose and chaotic, and almost seeming like it is on the verge of falling apart at most points. but somehow i think it still retains a cohesive, rollicking rhythm. overall i'm happy with it.
it's dark and moody, of course. all of the tracks of this cycle are (at least a bit).
technically speaking, i accomplished this track through numerous iterations with different software: i believe i started the track with ableton to structure the 6/8 beat (a fake 6/8 beat, actually), and this was one of the first times i experimented doing vocals through ableton. i then dumped it to acid, built some more live and midi tracks, and then i think it went back to ableton again for tweaking, and back down to acid again for mastering and rendering. the overall effect is layered and dense, and washed out (i dunno, maybe my shoegazer roots showing through).
when i started working on this track, it was december 2008. so that's a long time for me to work on and/or sit on a new track... definitely a different experience for me to process. i hope you enjoy the song.
download free high quality VBR mp3: for the last time
lyrics:
your brown hair
like braided barbwire
serrated, hardwired
faded, far and too tired
you travelled a million miles
to watch it stain my skin
with my own blood pricked from within
my red and celibate twin
but i digress
and i trust you know the rest
the context is new
but the story is old
the words were stone true
before you turned so cold;
you are down there, down there
feeling so old
and quite the sight to behold
fingers flexed against the floor
carving your initials on the door
you painted yourself so poor
a portrait relevant no more
than i wanted to die...
but down on the frozen lake
where we spent our winter break
a solstice spread out like a dreamscape
you still wanted to escape
and i wanted only
to sustain the lie.
so i lie down in the snow
where the forgiving branches grow
and shield my eyes
from the white blinding light
far above the slow-moving bough
and cawing crow...
you made me this way
like a light-savings day;
falling back in time
to escape the crime
an hour for every
dour-faced lover i betrayed.
now enveloped by the ice and snow
i finally pay the penance i know
i deserve
your twin white curves
the last thing on my mind
when i leave this winter behind
for the last time
for the last time
these frozen lies i don’t describe
for the last time...
this new song is entitled for the last time, and it begins the journey of the had we met in another life song-cycle.
i think that this will be a short song-cycle; perhaps only the four tracks so far completed to my satisfaction. it's not that i don't enjoy these songs, or haven't enjoyed working on them. quite the opposite. but i feel that they basically stand on their own, as cornerstones of one mini-composition (an EP, if you will), and they don't really need additional songs to complete the story.
in truth, i'm already working on exciting new things. this is how i work; multiple projects going at once.
so this track, for the last time, went through a variety of changes, including a title change, addition of extra stanzas after the originals were written, trying it out with different time signatures, etc. i find overall that the track is a bit loose and chaotic, and almost seeming like it is on the verge of falling apart at most points. but somehow i think it still retains a cohesive, rollicking rhythm. overall i'm happy with it.
it's dark and moody, of course. all of the tracks of this cycle are (at least a bit).
technically speaking, i accomplished this track through numerous iterations with different software: i believe i started the track with ableton to structure the 6/8 beat (a fake 6/8 beat, actually), and this was one of the first times i experimented doing vocals through ableton. i then dumped it to acid, built some more live and midi tracks, and then i think it went back to ableton again for tweaking, and back down to acid again for mastering and rendering. the overall effect is layered and dense, and washed out (i dunno, maybe my shoegazer roots showing through).
when i started working on this track, it was december 2008. so that's a long time for me to work on and/or sit on a new track... definitely a different experience for me to process. i hope you enjoy the song.
download free high quality VBR mp3: for the last time
lyrics:
your brown hair
like braided barbwire
serrated, hardwired
faded, far and too tired
you travelled a million miles
to watch it stain my skin
with my own blood pricked from within
my red and celibate twin
but i digress
and i trust you know the rest
the context is new
but the story is old
the words were stone true
before you turned so cold;
you are down there, down there
feeling so old
and quite the sight to behold
fingers flexed against the floor
carving your initials on the door
you painted yourself so poor
a portrait relevant no more
than i wanted to die...
but down on the frozen lake
where we spent our winter break
a solstice spread out like a dreamscape
you still wanted to escape
and i wanted only
to sustain the lie.
so i lie down in the snow
where the forgiving branches grow
and shield my eyes
from the white blinding light
far above the slow-moving bough
and cawing crow...
you made me this way
like a light-savings day;
falling back in time
to escape the crime
an hour for every
dour-faced lover i betrayed.
now enveloped by the ice and snow
i finally pay the penance i know
i deserve
your twin white curves
the last thing on my mind
when i leave this winter behind
for the last time
for the last time
these frozen lies i don’t describe
for the last time...
2010-01-09
live @ zaphod's!
folks, tonight i play live @ zaphod's! 27 york st., ottawa, doors @ 8p.m. $6.
i will be premiering some new material, including the "title track" of this blog's namesake, had we met in another life. i will also be performing some of the Incarnations. it will be badass.
get there early, as i am the opening act. on after me is Julia Set Generator, and then Owel Five & Corboe. you may remember if you have been following the Incarnations, Owel Five collaborated with me on Incarnation 1.13: A Pox On Both Our Houses.
it's gonna be a fun night, folks. come check out the noise.
and watch for new songs available here very soon!
i will be premiering some new material, including the "title track" of this blog's namesake, had we met in another life. i will also be performing some of the Incarnations. it will be badass.
get there early, as i am the opening act. on after me is Julia Set Generator, and then Owel Five & Corboe. you may remember if you have been following the Incarnations, Owel Five collaborated with me on Incarnation 1.13: A Pox On Both Our Houses.
it's gonna be a fun night, folks. come check out the noise.
and watch for new songs available here very soon!
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