for the last time

i promised that i would release a new track in january 2010, so here it is (on the last day of the month)!

this new song is entitled for the last time, and it begins the journey of the had we met in another life song-cycle.

i think that this will be a short song-cycle; perhaps only the four tracks so far completed to my satisfaction. it's not that i don't enjoy these songs, or haven't enjoyed working on them. quite the opposite. but i feel that they basically stand on their own, as cornerstones of one mini-composition (an EP, if you will), and they don't really need additional songs to complete the story.

in truth, i'm already working on exciting new things. this is how i work; multiple projects going at once.

so this track, for the last time, went through a variety of changes, including a title change, addition of extra stanzas after the originals were written, trying it out with different time signatures, etc. i find overall that the track is a bit loose and chaotic, and almost seeming like it is on the verge of falling apart at most points. but somehow i think it still retains a cohesive, rollicking rhythm. overall i'm happy with it.

it's dark and moody, of course. all of the tracks of this cycle are (at least a bit).

technically speaking, i accomplished this track through numerous iterations with different software: i believe i started the track with ableton to structure the 6/8 beat (a fake 6/8 beat, actually), and this was one of the first times i experimented doing vocals through ableton. i then dumped it to acid, built some more live and midi tracks, and then i think it went back to ableton again for tweaking, and back down to acid again for mastering and rendering. the overall effect is layered and dense, and washed out (i dunno, maybe my shoegazer roots showing through).

when i started working on this track, it was december 2008. so that's a long time for me to work on and/or sit on a new track... definitely a different experience for me to process. i hope you enjoy the song.

download free high quality VBR mp3: for the last time

lyrics:
your brown hair
like braided barbwire
serrated, hardwired
faded, far and too tired
you travelled a million miles
to watch it stain my skin

with my own blood pricked from within
my red and celibate twin

but i digress
and i trust you know the rest
the context is new
but the story is old
the words were stone true
before you turned so cold;

you are down there, down there
feeling so old
and quite the sight to behold

fingers flexed against the floor
carving your initials on the door
you painted yourself so poor
a portrait relevant no more
than i wanted to die...

but down on the frozen lake
where we spent our winter break
a solstice spread out like a dreamscape
you still wanted to escape
and i wanted only
to sustain the lie.

so i lie down in the snow
where the forgiving branches grow
and shield my eyes
from the white blinding light
far above the slow-moving bough
and cawing crow...

you made me this way
like a light-savings day;
falling back in time
to escape the crime
an hour for every
dour-faced lover i betrayed.

now enveloped by the ice and snow
i finally pay the penance i know
i deserve
your twin white curves
the last thing on my mind
when i leave this winter behind

for the last time
for the last time
these frozen lies i don’t describe
for the last time...