had we met... the title track

this is it. bristling with raw emotion. the title track.

admission time here: i am such a huge secret self-critic. quite plainly, in my head, at least 70% of the time i am unhappy with just about all the music i produce. not usually so extremely unhappy that i hate it and think it sucks, and am totally disappointed with myself. but sometimes.

then every once in awhile i will listen to some of my older material, and feel a little bit proud, like i accomplished something original, creative, and enjoyable. i may not have a huge audience, but some people seem to genuinely like what i create, and i'm super happy about that. i cannot stress how happy that makes me (though there's still the whisper in the back of my head: do you really deserve praise for this?).

so, that said, any false modesty aside, this may be one of the best pieces i have composed to date. at least, i love it, i'm proud of it, i'm pleased with all the effort i put into it to make it turn out how it did. i like the words; they are a very true part of my life. i like the music; it is simple yet catchy, and easily adapts to an acoustic version. i like the production; i feel that i have come a long way in engineering and crafting my sound. i genuinely feel that this marks a progression in my songwriting: a turning point in the way i compose and produce new works.

i began composing had we met in another life - the title track - in march of 2009, around the same time i was beginning to compose the Incarnations series. it felt like a purging to get out. i still feel great whenever i pull out my guitar and play it. for some reason it feels really life-affirming. music definitely acts as a conduit for me to release (negative) energy, in a positive way.

this track felt easy to compose, despite being a long endeavour. it came naturally, without being forced, without feeling the need to complicate it by trying to make it more intricate in composition. instead i focused on crafting a nice sound around it with nuance of tone and effects, reverb and synth, using midi VSTs for faux-strings & bass (i recorded "real" bass tracks too), and a virtual amp to mold the electric guitar sounds. recorded, it took on a completely different mood than the simple, angular sparseness of playing it on an acoustic guitar, unaccompanied. so in a way, this track became as much an engineering project as a composition project for me, but i think that is a good thing for my development. and in this case, it worked to the benefit of the song... i put a lot of time and effort into it, going back and re-working it 'til it was just right.

so much quality effort went into this... right now i feel as though this may be my "flagship" song, so to speak...

what's the big deal? well, this song isn't really about any one person in particular. it means many different people to me, and more than that just the abstract concept of "what if...?" almost everyone on this over-populated world meets hundreds - if not thousands - of people in their lives, but only ever develops lasting, deep, intimate relationships with a select few. there are a handful of people in my life. and some of them are no longer around... passed away or gone separate ways. or maybe i am the one who is no longer around, right? it's about the maybe's, the what-if's, the nostalgia, the spilt milks, the wishes, the yearnings, and the dreams. make them come true, as many of them as you can... but don't sacrifice for them. recognize most the beauty and value of what you have, always, here and now.

enjoy the song.

download free high quality VBR mp3: had we met in another life

lyrics:
on the anniversary of your death
nothing much remarkable happened to me
i felt no immortal breath
no whisper of your presence, no sudden spirituality

too many years to count have passed me by
clear-cutting the memories like a bad disease
i stopped resisting it and i don’t know why
now i just do whatever i please...

had we met in another life
maybe the cliché simply wouldn’t apply
had we met before the dying age
maybe we would still be on the same page

on the anniversary of the day we met
nothing much happened that i want to talk about
i’m not gonna bore you by listing my regrets
one more crappy list that’s too long to count

i missed you horribly, and couldn’t wait to tell you
all about my dreams
i momentarily forgot, in the thick of it all,
that you were no longer here with me

am i the only one
who sees the irony here?
i should be the missing one
i’m the one with the fear

had we met in another life
i’d admit that you were right
right about everything
it wasn’t even worth the fight...